It’s been just under a year and a half that I haven’t felt like myself. Which, in the long scheme of things may not seem like a horribly long time. To me, it’s felt like forever. Let’s take a look into the past, shall we?
It’s April of 2015. I’m living at a headquarters for a ministry I, at the time, affiliated myself with. (If you just read that and are questioning why, know that it’s a story for a different time.) I was loving life, to be honest. I had a great job, numerous friends, my needs supplied, didn’t really need much more. Then one day I started not to feel so great. This is the start of the “Melissa not feeling like herself period”.
In the course of a few weeks my life was undoubtedly change for the unforeseeable future
1) I had my gallbladder removed because it was only functioning between 5-7%.
2) I have Celiac Disease. (I’m sure in blogs to follow I’ll talk more about this and maybe even put a link to those said blogs here.)
3) I have numerous food allergies. (rice, corn, eggs, dairy, soy, potatoes, buckwheat, tree nuts, peanuts, chocolate, green beans, pineapple, yeast, kidney beans, tuna, and I’m sure there are a few others I’m forgetting.)
Was I happy that I now how answers to why I was feeling physically ill for the past month or so, yes, very. That didn’t help me mentally though. While, it may not seem like a whole lot typed out on a blog page, it was a lot for me to process in that short amount of time. I had to change basically my whole lifestyle because of what I now was told I could no longer consume.
After my surgery, I was able to get back to working my full time job in about 2 weeks. Which, everyone thought, was a pretty big feat. Though, I started feeling physically “normally”, I’m not entirely certain my mental state was ever the same. I was still trying to figure out what I could and could not eat and how my body would react to certain foods if I accidentally consumed them. Let’s just say this was more “normal” than what I am feeling currently. (mentally)
Flash foreword a few months to sometime in October. This is where the real fun begins. I had a migraine for 3 straight months and NO ONE could figure out why. (I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but, honestly, I’m not.) I went to my family doctor, hospital, neurologist, chiropractor, and physical therapist and none of them could truly pin point where these migraines were coming from, and what could alleviate them. I went through a slew of pain pills, and supposed headache medicine with no alleviation at all.
After months of no answers it was decided that the best thing to do would be to move back “home” to Indiana and live with my family.
I sought help from a holistic type doctor and we have narrowed down the reason for my chronic migraines and headaches. At first I had extremely high estrogen levels. We nipped that in the butt. Then we found out that I have a very low functioning thyroid. I am now on daily thyroid medicine to remedy that. This under-active thyroid is not only comes with a slew of annoying side effects, but is also connected to another auto immune disease called Hashimoto’s. So, if you’re keeping track, that’s auto immune diseases number two. Go me.
One of the biggest side effects of an under-active thyroid, is depression. Which is kind of my point of this whole post, and, if I’m being honest, this blog in general. I’m not ashamed anymore to admit that I’m battling depression, because at this point, I haven’t been able to beat it. It comes in spurts, and is sometimes easier to deal with than other times. I know that it is completely hormonal and because of everything my body has gone through because this isn’t “me”.
Eventually, along with my doctor, we’ll be able to figure out the right dosage of thyroid medicine to combat the depression, pretty much completely, is what I’m told. Maybe by then I’ll have figured out who “me” is, and will be able to be fully back to feeling like myself again.
We shall see.
P.S. Here’s a picture that almost fully shows exactly how my depression is. 
P.P.S- Song I’m listening to currently.
Disclaimer: I am a real person 